


Strawberries and cigarettes and a little alcohol too

by RaspberryNCTea



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Depressed Seo Changbin, Depression, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Underage Drinking, Underage Drug Use, Underage Smoking, Updates whenever I want
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2020-06-27 21:26:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19798084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaspberryNCTea/pseuds/RaspberryNCTea
Summary: He just wanted to be loved, that's what he's always wanted. But it always blew up in his face. They always ended up falling out of love with him, leaving in the middle of the night without a word, finding someone new, or they cheated on him.He thought Hyunjin would be the one this time, turns out he wasn't.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [My broken hearted biches](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=My+broken+hearted+biches).



> Relationships suck bro

Changbin took a long drap from his cigarette, the effects of the drugs from earlier that day wearing off. He felt so empty without the effects, he felt empty after Hyunjin. 

He shook his head smacking himself in the forehead, he didn't want to think about Hyunjin or any of the others ever again, they all screwed him over. He hated Hyunjin. And yet he couldn't stop thinking about him. 

He tried several times to get Hyunjin to talk to him again, but his attempts weren't successful. They all ended with Hyunjin glaring at him and walking away. Every time, it felt like he was stabbing millions of knives into Changbin's heart, it hurts to be treated like that by the one you love, it hurts bad, one of the worst pains he had ever felt.

He sighed heavily and flicked the ashes from his cigarette, he took another long drag, he let out the smoke and then looked down at the city below him. The people looked so small from his place on the top of jyp.inc

Him and Hyunjin would always go up there and smoke on their breaks. It felt so long ago now, except it wasn't, it was only a few months ago, since then Hyunjin had requested a transfer to a different location, the next week he was gone.

He missed him so much.

He knew that he would never get Hyunjin back, he just wanted closure, he didn't have a clue why Hyunjin left him, and he would get closure, he was going to make sure he did.

He put his cigarette out and started his descent down to the first floor. He knew where Hyunjin worked, that's where he was going, he needed to know what happened between them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A hundred months later chapter two is here lol

Changbin stopped outside of Hyunjin's work, he stared at the building, it suddenly looked so much scarier than normal. 

Maybe because he was going to confront Hyunjin.

He sighed and stepped into the building, he walked t the front desk, a cold sweat breaking out o his forehead, "I need to talk with Hwang Hyunjin." He said to the woman behind the desk .

"Fourth floor, sixth door on your right." She answered not sparring him a glance.

He mumbled a thank you and headed to the elevator. He was terrified, why? He had no idea. Maybe cause he was going to get the truth, and he was scared to know it. 

He shook it off, it was just Hyunjin. Hyunjin, who he's know since he was sixteen, it wasn't that big of a deal. It was his best friend. He knocked on the door, holding a breath as he waited for an answer, he heard a quiet, "come in" from the room. He twisted the knob and entered. Hyunjin's face immediately fell when he seen Changbin, "why are you here?" He asked. "I need answers. Please." He said sitting at Hyunjin's desk. Hyunjin could see the pain and sorrow in his eyes, it made him feel bad so he agreed to give Changbin answers. "Why? Why did you leave me?" He asked sadly. "I just wanted to. I got bored and I just didn't really like you. You were fun to mess around with at first but after a while it just lost it's flair, ya know?" He said folding his hands. Changbin stared in disbelief at the younger man, "so everything you told me was a lie? You never even loved me?" "Oh I did, just not in the way you think. And yeah, I lied, water under the bridge, right?" He smiled cheekily. "No, not right. What the hell is wrong with you, Hyunjin? I've been in love with you since I was sixteen, have you seriously been leading me on that long? How could you do that to someone?! " Changbin scream abruptly standing up. "Hey, you do stupid things when dared by friends. I wouldn't even be your friend if it weren't for the dare. Can't we move past this?" He asked standing u too. "No, no we can't. That's not ok Hyunjin, do you know how much I loved you? Or how much it hurt when you left? I was devastated, I was depressed cause of it, you did this. I came here looking to fix things, I don't want to anymore." He said. He didn't feel anything about the situation anymore, he was numb. "Goodbye Hyunjin. " He walked out the room and headed home. He was disappointed in Hyunjin, he couldn't believe he would do that. This was a good chance to move on though, first things first, get rid of the rest of Hyunjin's stuff, and progress from there

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading


	3. Chapter 3

He thought this would be a good opportunity to move on, but it wasn't. He loved Hyunjin for eight years, he couldn't just forget him, it was to hard. 

Everything was to hard. He flicked the ashes from his cigarette, he looked down at the bustling city below him, he wondered how anyone else would deal with it. 

He sighed heavily and took another drag from his cigarette. He didn't understand why he always got the short end of the stick, but he was sick of it. No more. 

He pressed his cigarette against his wrist putting it out and threw it to the ground. He stepped up on to the railing of the building. 

He looked down at the far away ground that was full of people. He hoped he didn't like, fall on someone or something stupid like that. Knowing his luckve probably would. 

He closed his eyes and stepped off. 

— 

Hyunjin was leaving his bosses room from a meeting when he heard screaming from down below. He rushed down to see what it was all about when his current boyfriend ran into him, "Hyunjin, something terrible has happened." He rushed out, he gripped on to Hyunjin's arms extremely tight. 

"What?" 

"Changbin is dead." Hyunjin stared at him in disbelief for a second before he looked at his boyfriend like he was stupid, "What do you mean he's dead? I spoke to him two days ago." 

"Like ten minutes ago some woman who was passing by the building was smashed by his body. Hyunjin... Changbin killed himself, he jumped off the roof." His boyfriend said, his eyes were sad as he spoke. 

Hyunjin looked at him in shock for a second before it really hit him that his friend was gone, could you even call then that after what he did to Changbin? 

Was this all his fault? Did he finally drive Changbin over the edge? He knew Changbin was depressed, he has been for as long as Hyunjin could remember. 

He was constantly being screwed over by people he loved, his employers, his co-workers, and everyone around him. Changbin used to call Hyunjin his safe haven cause when he was with Hyunjin he knew he wouldn't be screwed over.

But I the end he was. Hyunjin betrayed him. Changbin's last hope, his last day of light. This was his fault, if he hadn't played Changbin like he did maybe he would still be alive right now. 

Maybe if he hadn't said what he did Changbin would be alive. 

He lied to Changbin even at the end. He lied about being getting dared to be his friend. He loved Changbin, be was Hyunjin's best friend for God's sake.

"Jin?" 

Hyunjin shook his head and pushed him away, "Not now." He said, he walked away out of the building. 

He felt horrible, if only he had done things different, maybe Changbin would still be his friend,maybe Changbin would still be alive. 

If only.

**Author's Note:**

> Not sorry. Kudos and comments are appreciated. 
> 
> Check out my Twitter @rasp_berrynctea


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